Families are designed to work together. This is illustrated wonderfully in 1 Corinthians 12:12-26. As a family body, each person is a special, unique, and equally valuable part. The body as a whole cannot function without the capabilities of each person.
More specifically, husbands and wives need to be sure that they are working together for the family’s best interest. Philippians 2:4 reads, “Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (NIV)
Think like a couple
Once we are married, we can no longer think individually. This is particularly important when it comes to finances. Miscommunication, or a lack of communication, can lead to huge disasters.
Couples should know everything that is going on with the household budget. All income sources and expenses need to be identified. Each person should know where important financial documents are kept, where accounts are held, and how to manage the checkbook.
Since each person has unique skills and abilities, it is fine for one spouse to manage the household finances. However, the other spouse should know enough to keep everything running smoothly in the first spouse’s absence.
Be ready for the unexpected
In the past, I have met with several of my older clients who didn’t communicate well between themselves. Some of the women who had recently lost their husbands had absolutely no clue where their savings accounts were even held. They didn’t know about handling the bills and couldn’t manage the checkbook.
It doesn’t take a death to force a spouse to have to take over handling the household finances. Any unexpected event, such as placing a spouse in an assisted care facility for long term care needs, could bring this on. How many of us plan to be involved in a car accident? None. Given that we have no idea what lies in our future, we should be prepared for anything.
Work together
Also, goals should be designed together. Both long term and short term goals should be identified. These can be as simple as paying off bills or as complex as planning for retirement. If everyone shares in the planning, everyone will be on the same page and working toward the same end.
I witnessed a divorce occur between close family friends because they disagreed about where they would live in retirement. One wanted to stay in southern California, while the other wanted to move to the south. After being married for more than 30 years, the marriage ended over a lack of communication and an inability to resolve it.
Set boundaries
While it is not necessary to tell one another where every single dollar is spent, it is important that boundaries are drawn for large expenditures. As a couple, decide how much each individual is allowed to spend without the need for a joint decision.
This number will vary with each family. For example, spouses can decide to call one another before purchasing items over $250. This will relieve a lot of unnecessary stress brought on by those surprise purchases.
Families are designed to work together. Everyone plays a role, and the family body cannot function without each person. Husbands and wives need to work together. We should plan for the unexpected and take the steps necessary for the family’s best interest.
