“Give me my wives and children, for whom I have served you, and I will be on my way.  You know how much work I’ve done for you.”     Genesis 30:26 (NIV)

     Jacob is a man after my own heart.  I love the fact that this man recognized his responsibility and assumed his role as a husband, father, and provider.  He worked hard to take care of his family.

     Many are familiar with 1 Timothy 5:8, “If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” (NIV)  Let’s look at how Jacob puts these words into action.

Honorable husband

     In honoring the customs of that time, Jacob worked for his father-in-law, Laban, for 14 years in order to earn the hands of Leah and Rachel in marriage.  The original agreement was seven years for Rachel, but Laban deceived Jacob and gave his older daughter, Leah, to Jacob first.  He had to work seven additional years for Rachel.

     I think it is important to note here that Jacob handled Laban’s deception in an upstanding manner.  Rather than call Laban out for the misdeed, he willingly added another seven years of service to the agreement so that he could have his bride.  Now that’s what I call love!

    Jacob displayed the attitude we should have when we are at work.  Things may not always go as planned.  Things may not always be easy.  Employers and clients renege on verbal agreements.

     There will be times where we just have to roll with the punches.  We will have to keep moving forward even when the circumstances don’t seem fair.

     Jacob may not have liked the agreement, but he kept his eye on the bigger picture – at the end of the day, he still had the love of his life at his side.

Hardworking father

     The weddings took place in the middle of the years of service.  So, Jacob worked seven years, married both women, and then worked an additional seven years.

     During the second set of seven years, children were born into the unions.  Growing up, I’m sure they came to know about marriage arrangement.  They probably not only heard about it, but they were also able to watch their father work hard for their grandfather.

     Fathers need to be positive examples for their children of what the head of the household should look like.  Boys should learn how to provide for their families.  Girls should see how their prospective husbands should treat them.

Honest provider

     In all of Jacob’s years of service to Laban, we do not hear of any misappropriations.  Jacob handled everything honestly.  In fact, this is confirmed by Laban’s statement in Genesis 30:27.  He tells Jacob, “I have learned by divination that the LORD has blessed me because of you.” (NIV)

     When we are good stewards over whatever God has entrusted to us, many people around us will also be positively impacted.  Since Jacob handled his responsibilities appropriately, his employer was blessed.  In turn, when business went well, everyone involved in Laban’s business was also blessed.

     Our stewardship has a domino effect.  Let’s remember that as we handle our given responsibilities both at home and at work.

    Families are designed to work together.  This is illustrated wonderfully in 1 Corinthians 12:12-26.  As a family body, each person is a special, unique, and equally valuable part.  The body as a whole cannot function without the capabilities of each person.

     More specifically, husbands and wives need to be sure that they are working together for the family’s best interest.  Philippians 2:4 reads, “Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (NIV)

Think like a couple

     Once we are married, we can no longer think individually.  This is particularly important when it comes to finances.  Miscommunication, or a lack of communication, can lead to huge disasters.

     Couples should know everything that is going on with the household budget.  All income sources and expenses need to be identified.  Each person should know where important financial documents are kept, where accounts are held, and how to manage the checkbook.

     Since each person has unique skills and abilities, it is fine for one spouse to manage the household finances.  However, the other spouse should know enough to keep everything running smoothly in the first spouse’s absence.

Be ready for the unexpected

     In the past, I have met with several of my older clients who didn’t communicate well between themselves.  Some of the women who had recently lost their husbands had absolutely no clue where their savings accounts were even held.  They didn’t know about handling the bills and couldn’t manage the checkbook.

     It doesn’t take a death to force a spouse to have to take over handling the household finances.  Any unexpected event, such as placing a spouse in an assisted care facility for long term care needs, could bring this on.  How many of us plan to be involved in a car accident?  None.  Given that we have no idea what lies in our future, we should be prepared for anything.

Work together

     Also, goals should be designed together.  Both long term and short term goals should be identified.  These can be as simple as paying off bills or as complex as planning for retirement.  If everyone shares in the planning, everyone will be on the same page and working toward the same end.

     I witnessed a divorce occur between close family friends because they disagreed about where they would live in retirement.  One wanted to stay in southern California, while the other wanted to move to the south.  After being married for more than 30 years, the marriage ended over a lack of communication and an inability to resolve it.

Set boundaries

     While it is not necessary to tell one another where every single dollar is spent, it is important that boundaries are drawn for large expenditures.  As a couple, decide how much each individual is allowed to spend without the need for a joint decision.

     This number will vary with each family.  For example, spouses can decide to call one another before purchasing items over $250.  This will relieve a lot of unnecessary stress brought on by those surprise purchases.

     Families are designed to work together.  Everyone plays a role, and the family body cannot function without each person.  Husbands and wives need to work together.  We should plan for the unexpected and take the steps necessary for the family’s best interest.

     In setting all of our goals and planning how we will get to where we want to be, we sometimes underestimate the importance of things (or people) around us.  The family of today is nothing like it used to be.  The pressures of society and the economy have forced the family unit to break down.  As a result, all generations are affected.

Our children are impacted

     For most families, the ever-rising cost of living has created the need for a two-income household.  With both parents working, children spend less time interacting with their parents.

     Many of our children have become “latchkey kids.”  They come home to empty houses and essentially miss out on the extra guidance and reinforcement that they desire and need.

     This can be especially hard for single parent households.  There is no extra person available in the household to bring in additional income.  One parent may need multiple jobs just to make ends meet.  This leads to even less parent-child bonding time.

Our parents are affected

     At the other end is the changing relationship with our seniors– our parents and grandparents.  As a child, I remember moving into my grandmother’s house when she became ill.  My parents were there to support her as her health began to fail.  I’m sure that their presence brought extra comfort in those troubling times.

     Unfortunately, that is no longer the norm.  We see the huge expansion of assisted living facilities for seniors.  With both spouses working, no one is available to stay home with our aging family members, to care for them when daily activities become more difficult.

We are still responsible

     The pressure and need to stay afloat financially has kept us out of our homes and away from our loved ones.  But that doesn’t remove our responsibilities toward them.

     In 1 Timothy 5:8, we are told that, as believers, we are accountable for the well being of our families:  “If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” (NIV)

     We need to learn to balance our financial obligations with our family obligations so that neither is neglected.

What is most important?

     Although money helps us to acquire a lot of “things,” that is not what is important to anyone at the end of the day.  On our deathbeds, we won’t be asking to see the balance in our bank accounts, or trying to review our real estate portfolio one last time.  At that most critical point in life, we will want to be surrounded by those we love.

     I can attest to the fact that success and accomplishment feels good.  There are many things that I’ve done that I am proud of.  But the key question we should ask ourselves is, at what price?

     There is give and take in every situation.  Something is always sacrificed in order to get something else.  Some sacrifices are good, but many are not.  There are a couple of instances where I put my health in jeopardy to accomplish a goal.  Looking back, I am not sure that I can say that it was worth it.

     Let’s re-examine our priorities and see if there might be a better way to get to the same end goal.

     Inheritances were very important in the Bible.  By definition, an inheritance is a possession.  It is considered both permanent and valuable.  It is something that someone owns that can be passed on from an ancestor to one or more heirs.

Are We Carrying on the Tradition?

     I think that one of the greatest concepts discussed in the Bible with respect to inheritances is that we, as Christians, are the people of God’s inheritance.  As it reads in Deuteronomy 4:20, God called the Israelites out of Egypt and chose them to be the recipients of His abundant blessings.

     In the Old Testament, the Israelites inherited the promised land.  In the New Testament, we received an even greater gift.  We see that through Jesus Christ’s death and resurrection, we have been given “an inheritance that can never perish, spoil, or fade – kept in heaven” for us.  (1 Peter 1:4 NIV)

     Knowing the value that has been placed on inheritances in the past, we should evaluate whether we are doing our part to carry on the ancient tradition.  Are we not only respecting the value of our own inheritances, but also passing them on?

The Seen and the Unseen

     Let’s start with our physical possessions.  In life, we all acquire things.  Very few of us have trouble spending money.  We buy homes, cars, clothing, food, and tons of other items that enable us to be comfortable and happy while here on earth.

     Then, there are the non-physical possessions.  In this category, we should consider our morals, our beliefs, or our philosophies on life.  What are we teaching our children?

     Do our children see us using our credit cards for every purchase?  Are we using those cards because we are trying to build up a bigger cash back bonus, or because we don’t have any cash in the bank account?

     Will our children know Jehovah Jireh as their provider in the tough times, or have we taught them to run to Visa and Mastercard?

     Do our children see us working really hard?  While that can be a great example of determination and perseverance, we must also consider our motives.  Are we spending so much time at work because that’s what it takes to pay the bills and provide for our families?  Or are we burning the midnight oil (even on Sundays) to buy more things so that we are better able to keep up with the Joneses?

     Will our children be in church on Sundays and midweek thanking God for His infinite blessings, or will they voluntarily go into their offices on Sundays, hoping to earn a few more dollars to buy more “stuff”?

     Are the extra things we want (not need) to buy worth the time that is taken away from the family?

     It is great to be able to leave our children with some temporal possessions that may enable them to have fewer struggles than we had, but there is a deeper question to consider as we work toward building that inheritance.  When our wills our read, do we want our children to have memories of the “stuff” we left to them or of the time we spent with them?

“Then the servant brought out gold and silver jewelry and articles of clothing and gave them to Rebekah; he also gave costly gifts to her brother and to her mother.”     Genesis 24:53 (NIV)

     Abraham’s servant met with Rebekah’s father, Bethuel, and brother, Laban, to arrange for her marriage to Abraham’s son, Isaac.  Bethuel and Laban agreed to allow Rebekah to become Isaac’s bride.

     As a symbol of his gratitude, Abraham’s servant showered Rebekah and her family with gifts.  This gesture reminded me of how others around us can be impacted by the choices we make in life.

Impacted for good

     Many of the choices we make in our lives can lead to good results.  A great job offer can lead to a lucrative salary.  In turn, that allows us to provide our family with shelter, food, clothing, transportation.

    It is also likely that our income will enable us to do some extra things for the ones we love.  It may mean that we are able to provide a better quality of life for our families.  Instead of renting a home or apartment, we may be able to purchase one.

     Rather than eating at home every day, we may be able to go out for dinner sometimes.  A larger income allows for some more expensive clothing brands.  We may be able to buy a new, or newer, vehicle as opposed to an older used model.

The impact can also be negative

     However, not all of our decisions have great results.  We sometimes make poor financial decisions that end up hurting our families.

     The consequence of being irresponsible or negligent on the job is being let go.  Not having a job has the potential to deprive our families of not only some of the joys we love to shower on them, but also of some of the most basic needs.

     We may also find that we are just not good stewards of the resources the God has given us.  We spend money foolishly rather than budgeting and planning ahead.  We buy on impulse, yet don’t have money for emergencies.  We run up credit cards and take loans when we can’t afford to pay them off or to make the monthly payments.

     We don’t research our investment or purchase decisions carefully, choosing not to read the disclosures in fine print.  We buy bigger and more than we need or can afford, whether it’s a home, a car, or name-brand clothing.

Consider the consequences carefully

     Part of being a good steward is making sure to take care of the families that God has entrusted to us.  As mentioned in 1 Timothy 5:8, if we do not provide for our immediate families, we are considered worse than an unbeliever.

     Just as God provides for our every need, He enables us to provide for our dependents.  Are we making wise decisions with the resources God has provided?  Have we considered how our spending habits will ultimately affect our families? Are the choices we decide to make doing more to stroke our own egos than they are doing to make life more comfortable for our loved ones?

     Moving forward, let’s be more considerate of how each financial decision that we encounter impacts us and those we love.